When Politics Get Personal: How the Political Climate Shattered—and Shaped—My Relationships

Politics today aren’t just about policies—they’re emotional battlegrounds that bleed into our most intimate spaces. On January 20th, 2025, Donald Trump stepped back into office as President, reigniting old debates and sparking new ones. Social media became a boxing ring, families felt the tremors, and friendships cracked under ideological pressure.

For me, this wasn’t just about another election. It was a personal awakening—a storm that tore through the fragile threads of family, friendship, and identity.

Looking Back: A Teen’s First Brush With Politics and Its Climate

In 2016, I was just 14—young, impressionable, and relying on my parents, teachers, and the ever-noisy internet to form my political opinions. Trump's inflammatory language, especially about immigrants, planted a deep discomfort in me. His infamous campaign slogan—Make America Great Again—felt less about unity and more about exclusion. When he won, I was crushed.

Fast forward to 2024, and I had the power to vote for the first time. Kamala Harris stood as the Democratic candidate, and political conversations surged into my everyday life. My dad had gradually leaned left, while my mom clung to conservative values. That chasm between them mirrored one growing between my mom and me. Our already strained relationship hit a new low.

The Cost of Conviction: When Morals Collide With Family

Politics aren’t just political anymore—they’re personal. Issues like reproductive rights, immigration, and healthcare reflect our values, our identities, our futures. So when my mother brushed off my thoughts as childish, it wasn’t just frustrating—it was invalidating.

Vietnamese culture often comes with a hierarchy where age equals authority, and challenging that can feel like betrayal. I tried, pleaded, and eventually broke: I cut off communication. My mother’s guilt-laden messages during that silence—about her health, her sadness—only made it harder. And my father, the peacekeeper, suffered emotionally watching his family drift apart.

His attempts to contextualize my mother’s beliefs through the trauma of the Vietnam War helped me empathize, but didn’t excuse the dismissiveness. This emotional tug-of-war wore me down physically and mentally—sleepless nights, fatigue, acne, and weight loss became part of my routine.

Practical Tip: When navigating generational divides in politics, consider setting ground rules for conversations. According to a 2021 Pew Research study, families who agreed to “pause and revisit” discussions reported less conflict and better long-term understanding.

Friendships on the Fence: The Quiet Casualties

I turned to my friends, hoping for support—but encountered indifference. Two white male friends admitted they didn’t vote, one citing apathy and the other a weak excuse. Their privilege allowed them the luxury of disengagement. Mine didn’t. That apathy, to me, was complicity, and. I evaluate my friendships not by shared opinions, but by shared values. A Harvard study found that 61% of Gen Z value friendships rooted in shared worldviews, especially around issues of equity and justice.

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

- Desmond Tutu

Unable to cope, I withdrew. I needed solitude to reflect and reset. It wasn’t the healthiest method, but it worked for me. During that time, I came up with a plan: propose family therapy to my mom and cut ties with the friends who invalidated my values. Not the most graceful approach—but sometimes survival isn’t pretty. Solitude can be therapeutic, but isolation shouldn’t become avoidance. According to the American Psychological Association, structured time alone fosters resilience, but social support is crucial for long-term mental health.

Why I’m Sharing This: You’re Not Alone

This isn’t a guidebook. It’s a story. My story. One about how a political era fractured my relationships but also clarified my values. You don’t have to agree with me. You don’t even have to care about politics. But if you’ve ever felt dismissed, unheard, or lonely in your convictions, I hope my story makes you feel a little less alone.

"Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes." - Maggie Kuhn

This political season left scars—but it also left clarity. I know where I stand, who I can talk to, and what I’m willing to fight for. I lost some connections, yes—but I gained a stronger connection to myself. In the end, politics didn’t just divide—it defined. And from that definition, I found direction.

Written by Kim Pham

Edited by Carlita L. Coley, LPC

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About the Author

Kim Pham is a senior Psychology major at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) with a passion for exploring how societal issues intersect with mental health and personal identity. Through her writing, she shares honest reflections on family, culture, and the emotional impact of today's political climate. Kim is also passionate about exploring under-researched topics and has career goals of becoming a clinical psychologist who specializes in complex mental health issues, particularly within minority communities.