Raising a Person is HARDDD—with Three D’s!

Written by Sarne Branch

Can I get an AMEN?!

I can testify to this myself. Being a parent is one of the most rewarding — and also one of the most challenging — roles we’ll ever take on. No one hands you a manual, and no one has all the answers. We’re all just doing our best.

I’m so proud of the person my child is becoming. But I’ve learned that parenting isn’t about controlling or overpowering; it’s about growing with your child, not against them. It’s not always about “because I said so” or “mother knows best.” Sometimes, it’s about pausing to ask: What does my child need from me right now?

What Is a Parent?

A parent — whether biological, adoptive, legal guardian, stepparent, or caregiver — is someone who takes on the responsibility of nurturing and guiding a child. To a child, a parent is a protector, a teacher, a safe place. You’re not just shaping their world — you are their world.

Three core truths to remember:

• Your child didn’t ask to be here.

• We are healing as they grow.

• We are growing with them.

The Concept of Parenting

Let’s be real — parenting can be incomprehensibly hard. There’s no break, no time-out, and no perfect formula. It takes energy, grace, and a whole lot of love. That old saying? It takes a village — it’s the golden truth. Your village might include family, friends, faith communities, professionals, or even kind strangers who just get it. Parenting means listening to your children, meeting them where they are, and guiding them toward their own paths. It’s about cultivating trust, practicing discipline with compassion, and encouraging growth — both for them and for ourselves.

What Sparked This Thought?

One Sunday during children’s church, Pastor C.L. Hobbs of Mount Bethel Baptist Church (Kenbridge, VA) taught from:

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way they should go; and when they are old, they will not depart from it.

Pastor Hobbs reminded us: “They see what we do and hear what we say.” He also shared two acronyms that really stuck with me:

• T.L.C. — Tender, Love, and Care (or Teach, Learn, Counsel)

• T.L.D. — Training, Lead, and Discipline

  
  

These aren’t just buzzwords — they’re blueprints for how to pour into our children’s lives with intention and love. Children absorb our energy, our words, our behaviors. What we model becomes their norm.

Choose Your Village Wisely

Later, I read this powerful verse:

Proverbs 26:6

Sending a message through a fool is like cutting off one’s own feet and drinking poison.

Be mindful of who and what surrounds your child. You don’t have to hover (hello, helicopter parenting!), but stay vigilant. Pay attention to their influences — friends, family, social media, TV, all of it. You are their first line of defense, and their first teacher.

Positive Parenting Through Scripture

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

These verses remind us of the power of patience, respect, and understanding. Parenting isn’t about control — it’s about guidance, trust, and building healthy relationships.

When we recognize that we may need our own support, we can help prevent bitterness, resentment, and a lack of motivation from creeping into our family dynamics.

So… How Do You Grow With Your Child?

Growing with your child means:

• Learning new strategies and skills

• Adjusting when old methods stop working

• Being honest about your own healing journey

• Teaching values, not just rules

• Giving them what you may not have had — but not at the expense of your own well-being

You don’t have to re-live your childhood through them. Instead, create a solid foundation of self-worth, emotional safety, resilience, empathy, and healthy communication.

Balance is vital: balancing work, relationships, friendships, and parenting is a daily decision, not a one-time achievement. Some days it’s chaos and missed calls. Other days, you feel like you’ve cracked the code — only for it to shift again the next day.

Here’s the truth: balance isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about doing what matters with intention.

Why Is Balance Vital?

When we neglect one area of life to pour into another, we burn out.

• Too much work? Our relationships suffer.

• Too much parenting? We lose ourselves.

• Too much socializing? Our goals slip away.

• Too much people-pleasing? Our peace disappears.

Balance creates space for mental clarity, emotional regulation, and purposeful living. It grounds us when life inevitably gets messy.

The Reality of Co-Parenting

Co-parenting isn’t about you — it’s about them. It’s a lesson in maturity, teamwork, and emotional intelligence. You don’t have to be best friends, but you can still be great co-parents if your shared goal is raising a healthy, supported child.

Friends vs. Comfort

You don’t have to be your child’s best friend, but you do need to be someone they feel safe with. Encourage honesty, openness, and connection. Set boundaries — and respect theirs. Protect their peace, and don’t unload your burdens onto them.

When discipline is necessary, explain the “why.”

Every Parent’s Journey Is Different

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Don’t compare. Just stay committed to being present, accountable, and loving.

Testimonies From the Village

A.H:“Being a parent is the most selfless, brutal, and beautiful thing you can do in life — and it requires healing.”

M.F.:“Biggest challenge? Listening to your child even when you know they’re wrong. But they have to learn.”

I.B.:“I had to understand my daughter can set boundaries. She’s a human being, too.”

L.G.:“I had to accept that both our truths should be respected — even as husband and wife.”

C.M:“I’ve had to work through trauma, learn not to hover, and accept the role shift when they became adults.”

N.J.:“My biggest challenge is being hard on myself. I had to learn to give myself grace.”

T:“You can’t co-parent with someone more interested in your personal life than their child’s well-being.”

T.W.:“You can’t protect them from everything. But I’m learning to support, not control, their futures.”

Troy:“Feeling the pressure to do it all — without being able to express it without judgment.”

B:“Being the sole provider means every decision impacts everyone.”

Carol:“I’m learning to prioritize my own needs while caring for my daughter’s. Asking for help is okay.”

L.W.:“I check grades, phones, and social media — but we pray together, too. Communication is key.”

R.F:“Social media influences are a battle. TikTok can undo what it took years to teach.”

M.W:“My daughter was a miracle. I sacrificed it all for her, even when I had no support.”

Final Thoughts

Parenting is hard — with a capital H and three D’s. But it’s also beautiful, rewarding, and transformational. We aren’t meant to do it alone. Give yourself grace, lean on your village, and remember: you are enough.

Let’s keep growing. Together.

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About the Author

Sarne Branch is a Supervisee-In-Social Work and a passionate advocate for positive parenting, mental wellness, and culturally responsive care. With a deep commitment to helping families build strong, compassionate foundations, Sarne blends lived experience with faith-based wisdom to encourage growth, resilience, and healthy relationships. Through her writing, she aims to empower parents and caregivers to raise children with intention, empathy, and grace.